Deja Vu

I've always said "Every experience is worth experiencing". It's my motto, it's the phrase I live by, it's the thing I tell myself to remind myself that it's all worth it, It's wisdom I share onto others. You do need an open mind and a big heart to really understand it though, which I understand some aren't ready for that yet.

But every person, every thing that's happened to you, every word that's ever been said. It's all worth it. You can't take it back, you can't unhear it, you can't go back and never meet them. It's apart of your journey and you just have to accept it for what it is and welcome it with warm open arms no matter how hard it is.

That's why I hold every person I've ever met dearly in my heart. No matter how I feel about them now, if I love them I love them, if I hate them I hate them, if I'm impartial towards them I'm impartial, but no matter what I will always be grateful for them.

They shaped me into the person I am today for better or worse. I'm grateful for the memories I hold with them, I'm grateful for the knowledge I've gained with them,  I'm grateful for the love we shared and how different that is, I'm grateful for the pain we shared and how different that is.

Every single person offers a new experience. New knowledge, New experiences, New love, New pain. I cherish it all, because I know in that moment I felt the most. I felt the most love I could at that time, I felt the most pain I could at that time, I felt the most happiness I could at that time, I felt the most heartbreak I could at that time. And it all adds up, it all welcomes a new perspective to the world, it's something no one else has experienced the way that person was.

But no matter how different every person is sometimes it feels like they're exactly the same. Sometimes I get Deja vu, sometimes I remember I've felt this pain before, sometimes I remember I've been in this situation before, sometimes I remember I've felt this heartbreak. I've done it before, I've lived it, I hated it, so why would I want to experience it again? I'm being treated the exact same way, the same distance, the same noncommunication, the same feeling of unloved and unwanted, the exact same. So why am I going through it again?

Because I need it. Because no matter how much it hurts to get Deja vu and be scared to feel the exact same way I did in the past, it's worth it. You weigh the good and the bad, and you decide from there if it's worth it. Do you wanna experience choosing yourself and true happiness and stay? Or do you wanna experience choosing yourself and true happiness and leave? You have to decipher for yourself what is the right choice for you.

Use that experience and knowledge you've gained in the past and let your mind and body tell you exactly what you can handle and what you can't. Choose yourself and what's right for you because no matter what this experience is worth experiencing. No matter what you'll find another who will be different from the rest, and no matter what you'll get Deja vu in one way shape or form.

And you'll experience that until you experience something new that's worth staying for. Experience something that you don't tackle alone but rather with them. Experience a new form of love you've never experienced before. So the next time you get Deja vu you aren't scared- you're grateful.