Who am I?

"What do you think you are?"

Nothing. I'm nothing. That's it. Plain and simple. Sure, I may be something now, I may be something for awhile but reality is I'm probably nothing. I will eventually become nothing to you, just another, just the past, just a distance memory, just something that made you happy for awhile. It would be foolish to think otherwise, it would be stupid to think I'm anything more then something for right now, it would be absolutely ridiculous to think I will be anything. But... maybe sometimes I'm a bit foolish. A little bit stupid. A little ridiculous maybe... 

It's obviously not a good thing, I shouldn't be thinking these things, I shouldn't be asking myself "what if", I shouldn't be pondering and questioning my role. I know my role, I know who I am, I know what I am, I know what were doing. So, why do I keep trying to cross the line? Foolishness. that's why. Because, sometimes I like to be a little foolish sometimes, a little stupid, a little ridiculous.. 

I do it for the sake of being delusional, for the sake of being happy for even a split second. I will gladly fantasize about what we could be and what a life we could live, with you, with anyone, at any time. For the sake of being delusional and for the sake of being happy, because in those moments I like to just let myself be exactly that. I like to imagine I'll be the one to change your mind, I'll be the one to heal you, I'll be the one to show you what's right and what's wrong, that I'll be the one. Even though that's absolutely ridiculous and I know it is and I tell myself off for thinking the things I do, but at the same time I allow myself to even just for a little bit.

But then reality sets in that I'm nothing more than something right now. Just as anyone else in my place would be, just as anyone else in your place would be. Sure, we can all fantasize about everlasting, forever and more, love to never be lost but we can't let that get to us, we can't let it take over our entire being. That's what I need to learn.

Need to learn although I'm something, although I'm the one, although I'm liked right now there is a chance I won't be for long- I won't be forever. And that is perfectly okay, forever isn't real, forever doesn't exist, forever is just a concept. What I am glad is that I am the one now, because at least I had a chance- at least I got to experience it even just for a little while. For that, I will forever be grateful and will forever be happy. So thank you, thank you for letting me be something even if it is just for now.